“You’re so thin! Oh, my gosh. If I could look like you…”
“No, I’m not! Look at you! You’re gorgeous! I’d switch bodies with you in a heartbeat!”
It’s not right. It’s destructive to, not only ourselves, but also to the people around us. We teach ourselves and others that we must always consider another’s beauty to be the absence of our own. We teach each other that, to make someone else feel better about themselves, we must point out our own flaws.
That’s not true.
And it’s not helpful.
In loving yourself, you help others love themselves.
I realized this when I was speaking with a darling friend of mine. I had mentioned that I didn’t like my lips because my lower lip stuck out farther than my upper one. She told me her lips were the same, but she loved hers. And then it dawned upon me that… it’s okay to like the way you look. It’s not narcissistic. It’s not selfish. It’s self-love.
It’s okay to love something unique about yourself. It’s okay to love the way you look even if (especially if) you don’t look like everyone else.
In my friend loving herself – loving the things about her that I am insecure about in myself – I was able to love myself. I am able to love myself. To love the way I look.
• I love my lips. I love how full they are. I love the color.
• I love my hands and feet. My fingers are short, but they serve their purpose. My toes are sausage-like, but they do their thing well. I love my hands and feet because they are just so dang pretty!
• I love my eyes. I love the dual tone. The mutation. I love that my right eye has a brown spot in the blue. I love the asymmetrical beauty.
• I love my legs. There’s not much of them as I stand at 5′-nothing. But they’re supportive (I like puns and I suspect everyone does but for whatever reason, we have to pretend like we hate them…?).
• I love my body shape. It’s difficult to work with sometimes (you know those things everyone wears and it looks great, but you try it on and how did I end up looking like I just crawled out of the sewer system? I promise I’m human.), but I love it. I love that I have some meat on me.
• I love my hair. I love that the bottom half decided to turn blond for whatever reason (probably to give me a reason for the less-than-stellar remarks that slip out of my mouth). I love that I’m a ginger. I hope that I never go all blond or brown because I just can’t see myself as anything but a redhead.
• I love my eyebrows. They’re on-point frequently + always without makeup.
I don’t love myself all the time. That’s not to be expected. I don’t think anyone loves themselves all the time. That’s a part of being human. We’re not perfect. And we shouldn’t expect ourselves to be.
I think we confuse being cocky with being confident.
Don’t be cocky. Don’t overestimate yourself. Don’t walk around thinking you’re the best.
Be confident. Trust in the risks you’re taking. Know that you can always learn something and be better than who you were yesterday.
Love yourself genuinely because, in loving who you are and what you look like, you can help others to love themselves.
Rana || xoxo