I hope your week is going well so far. 🙂
Today, I’d like to talk about something I probably have no right to talk about: parenting. I’m not going to tell you how to bring your kids up (just, more like, strongly suggest 😉 ). But before you get all defensive, let me say something: this is all common sense. So if you’ve got some of that, don’t worry your pretty little mind.
Someone very dear to my heart is hurting a lot. Because of her parents. She’s not even a teenager yet, but she’s one of the strongest people I’m blessed to know. She’s taught me more than I think she knows about what it means to be strong, not give up, and act older than you should at twelve years old.
So what’s up? How are her parents hurting her?
- One of her parents has been in jail many times.
- Her other parent was getting better for a while. This parent has tried to raise their three kids alone for a long time. They got better, stopped smoking. Now, they’ve relapsed and picked up drinking and partying and dating as well.
- The parent raising the kids also does not discipline their kids. The eldest (the twelve year old) basically makes better decisions than her parents. She knows right from wrong. She tries to step in and parent her siblings, but she can only do so much with a bratty six year old and mischievous ten year old.
- Especially when the present parent is constantly yelling at her and letting the little kids do whatever they want because they don’t care enough to say no.
It’s hard for me to write this because this is something that happens to other people. Not the people you know and love. But I guess everyone is someone’s son, daughter, niece, nephew, cousin, or friend.
Now, all this begs the question:
What are a parent’s responsibilities?
- Say flipping no. I get that you “love” your kids. I get that you don’t want to upset your little angel. But that’s part of your job. Upset them now to save them later. Want to know why your six year old is overweight? Because you allow her to eat only toast. You don’t force her to eat what she doesn’t want because that’s inconvenient for you. Which leads me to the next point:
- Convenience isn’t in the job description. You gave that up when you decided to sleep around. Sorry, not sorry. You’re not allowed to go out ’till 3:00 a.m. while your 12 year old is up worrying about you. She should not be worrying about you. That’s flat out wrong, selfish, and just plain idiotic and immature. You’re not allowed to go out and get drunk every weekend. You’re just not. You have kids, responsibilities and you’re slacking.
- Discipline. This goes along with saying no. But a parent needs to discipline their kids; otherwise, it follows that no decent parent will want your kid hanging out with theirs; when they go out into the workplace, no one is going to want to hire someone who doesn’t know how to force themselves to do their job.
- You don’t get to swear around or at your kids. What do you think that does to or for them? Nothing except make them feel worthless.
- You don’t get to tell your kids that what you’re doing is okay because you’re an adult. That’s illogical. That’s you making excuses. And the minute you start doing that, that’s the minute I know you’re trying to justify your actions.
Essentially, you don’t get to put yourself first.
You’re going to school, working two jobs, have three kids, raising them alone because your partner is a flop.
I get that. I get that parenting is hard. I get that I have next to no authority to talk about this. I get that parents everywhere despise the fact that a 17 year old is writing about their responsibilities.
But am I really telling you anything new? I certainly hope not. This is just common sense.
Your selfishness hurts everyone. Your kids most of all. Your family.
I don’t judge you. I judge your actions. And it hurts because I love you and I thought you were better than this. I know you are.
And I ask all of you reading this to please, please pray for this family.
Maybe if a minor can see these problems so clearly, actual parents with these struggles can too.
Love always + stay strong,