• identity •

We all want to belong and feel at home with another person or group of people.

Sometimes we change ourselves to fit a certain image. For a long time, that was me. I knew that wasn’t who I was. It felt off. I was never comfortable with them or with myself. Occasionally, there were those times where I thought we were friends because we hung out. They invited me to go see The Lion King on stage with them! They must like me enough to willingly spend time with the sheltered ginger chick. But I think they were fooled too. I don’t know that they ever enjoyed my company either but I always tagged along in school so what could they do?

Sometimes we lie to ourselves to get through a situation as comfortably as possible.

Other times, some things feel right – or at least better. So we stick a label to our foreheads and say, “this is who I am” because in this identity, I feel more comfortable. And we do that because we know there are other people out there who feel the same way.

But that’s not who we are. That’s what we’re most comfortable with.

Comfort is a lie.

Most of us live in a society that says, “if you are comfortable doing this, do it” or “if you feel happy doing this, do it”. Ethics, morals, and logic fall by the wayside because they are irrelevant when we focus on feelings and comfort.

We are not here to find comfort and happiness. We are not here to “discover ourselves”.

We are here to make this world a better place by using our individual talents and abilities. “Discovering yourself” sounds like it’s the ultimate goal. It’s not. It’s a step to becoming a better person, but not the end goal. All our lives, I think, we will spend trying to discover our voices and use them to do the right thing.

In order to discover who we are, we need to place our identities in something that doesn’t change. Consistency is key. All the confusion comes when we identify and associate ourselves with something that doesn’t satisfy, doesn’t stay unchanging.

Comfort is dangerous. It prevents us from seeing where we need to grow, where we have become stagnant. We ignore the needs of others because we aren’t suffering. But when we do, we wonder where the help is.

Don’t seek comfort. Seek a better way of life. A better you.

Love,

Rana || xoxo

Advertisements

How to be Successful

If you live on the planet Earth, you are going to get asked (if you haven’t been asked already), “So, what do you want to be when you grow up?” or “What’s your major?” or “What’s your career going to be when you graduate?”

No matter what the phraseology, these questions all point to one overarching question: How are you going to make yourself successful?

Write your own definition of success.Most of these people mean financially. My dad is one of those people.

And that’s not a bad thing.

We do need money. Without it, we can’t really do a lot.

But, at the same time, it’s only money. You’re going to die one day and it will mean nothing.

My philosophy is that you should earn enough to be self-supportive and self-sufficient; but, at the same time, don’t make money your first priority because it’s a means to an end. The end is to be happy, right? That’s what we all want.

So.

How to be successful:

Step #1) Define “success.”

Please don’t let other people do this for you. Let that happen and you’ll be miserable. Understand that you will let people down by choosing your own path; but if they leave you because of it, they weren’t meant to stick around. Having your own definition of success is going to help you see the people you’re meant to be with it and it’s going to help you, ultimately, be where you need to be to end up happy.

Your definition of success is going to be your end goal.

Pray for a clear path. Pray for good counsel. We’ve got a good God. He will get where you need to be (a place that will bring you more happiness than if you left it to yourself alone) if you conform your will to His.

Once you know what you consider to be success, then move on to…

Step #2) Find your means to the endIf you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

Identify your end goal, then find out a way to get there.

Keep in mind that you may have to do unpleasant jobs (working at the local grocery store instead of owning a bakery) on the way; but keep your goal in mind and it won’t be so difficult. 🙂

Plan it out.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

Step #3) Don’t Quit

Every failure is an opportunity to learn to do the task better in the future. You are only a failure if you decide there is nothing to learn or give up.

And if you don’t have your life figured out at 18, whatever.

Society says to x, y, and z by age w. No. You’re not a loser for not conforming to standards not meant for everyone. I feel that it’s ridiculously stupid and moronic to have one standard and hold everyone to it.

As Einstein said, “If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life thinking it’s stupid.”

Be who you want whether it’s a fish, zebra, wildebeest, monkey, horse, cow, or elephant.

Be your own definition of successful.

Love,

Rana