Interview with January | Round 4

Well, folks! It looks like this is going to be the last round for January!

If you have any more, I can always do a miscellaneous sort of post and tag on the stragglers. 😉

Also, before we begin, I’d like to just say Happy Valentine’s Day. Today isn’t just about loving your OTP or binge-ing on chocolate. It’s the feast-day of Saint Valentine, a martyr, canonized by the Catholic Church. For some facts about this saint, click here.

Remember, too, that you can never be happy with someone else until you learn to be happy on your own. So happy appreciate-yourself-day to everyone. ^_^

Now onto the round:

1)      Favorite villain? (Loki…? XD)

For you, yes. Loki is pretty cool. *kisses your forehead*

2) What would you do if you discovered that many of us are obsessed with you?
            Oh, puh-lease. I already know it. 😉

Alias: Don’t encourage him. His head is almost too big for his top hat.

Is that some corny phrase? O_o

Alias: …maybe.

Well, don’t do it again. It sounds weird.

3)      Do you like the snow?

Yep! My goal this year is to make an army of mini-snowmen and position them outside of Stone Cross on the porch. Slowly, all the silverware will disappear from the house and reappear as the snowmen’s hands.

Alias: *screeches from backstage* WHAT?!

Shhh! Don’t tell!

4)      If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
            I would either control minds or give myself the energy to do things like fold my clothes.

Alias: I wish you had that superpower too! The latter one, I mean.

5)      What would you do if you could control minds?

Hah! Great minds think alike. 😉 I would like to say I’d have everyone love each other. No more wars, killings, etc.

6)      What would you do if you were invisible for a day?
            I would stalk Alias like a creeper.

Alias: You already do that, sweetheart.

They don’t need to know that! *crosses arms and pouts*

7)      What lies within the deepest, darkest corner of your heart?

…I don’t know. It’s not a place I like to frequent.


            I already know it’s not like yours! I ain’t got cobwebs on my soul! No, ma’am!



9)      Do you like math?

…I don’t know. I think if it’s practical, learn it. But if it’s just memorizing stuff you’re never going to use, don’t waste your time.

10)  When you’re supposed to be doing something, what’s the best excuse you have to procrastinate?

Oh, good question. Hm… I don’t have a set excuse for every time. I just sort of make one up on the spot. 😉

11)  What do you do when you’re bored?

I like to eat when I’m bored though it is gluttonous and that gluttony isn’t attractive.

12)  What do you do to bother Alias?

Anything and everything.

13)  Do you prefer thinking on your feet or mulling things over?

I prefer to mull things over, though I am good at thinking on my feet. Mulling things over allow me to look at a certain thing from different perspectives.

14)  Are you proficient in computer stuff? If not, I feel ya. 😛

I’ve never used a computer in my life! So, probably not. J

15)  If you had to get a job, what would you do?

Oh, I don’t know. I might work sign up for a job on a ship or something. Load cargo, something like that.

EDIT: Actually, I’d like to be a waiter in a restaurant. Or deliver pizzas or something.

16)  Do you ever gain weight with all your eating habits? XD

Not really. *sheepish grin* But I’m pretty active, so…

Alias: No, you’re not. You just fidget. A lot. And you only go walking to get food. You just have great metabolism, is all.

17)  Have you ever worn makeup?

I don’t think so. But if I did, I’d probably go for guyliner.


I swear. Alias is like a flipping MOM. -_-

18)  Favorite time of day?

I’m a morning person.

19)  If you could interview anyone/spend a day with anyone you have not yet met, who would it be?

Is “you” a viable answer?

20)  Describe Alias to us.

What do you mean? Personality? Physical appearance? Well, I’ll describe her personality then give you a picture. She’s quiet and gentle, but she’s commanding and bossy too. There’s something about her that you get the feeling she’s a lot more than what she looks like and she’s not a superficial type of person either.

21)  Sunrise or sunset?


22)  Favorite musical?

Erm… I don’t do musicals much. So I don’t know.

23)  Favorite Marvel character? ;D


24)  Superman or Batman?

Why is this even a question?! Batman!

25)  Do you like butterscotch candies?

A bit.

EDIT: I prefer Yorks. 😉

26)  Do you sing? If so, what stuff do you like to belt out?

Sometimes. Eh, whatever comes to mind.

27)  What’s your favorite thing about Alias?

I can’t just say one thing. I like everything about her. Except her bossiness. And when she gets mad… Just- just stay away from her. But she’s a good person.

28)  If you could go on an adventure, what would your ideal be?

Ireland, Scotland, New Zealand…

29)  Favorite letter of the alphabet?

Hmmm… A. A when it’s done in a swirly script.

30)  If you could, would you learn Latin?

If I could learn it instantly, yes. If I had to study, no.

31)  Will you babysit my sisters for me? XD

Sure thing! How much are you willing to pay?

32)  You’re wonderful. Did you know this? (That goes for you, too, Rana! ;D)

I did! Thank you! 😀

Rana: Aww, thanks!! You are too! ^_^

God bless!


Interview With January | Round 3

Well, another folks! I hope you’re enjoying these! 😀 Feel free to ask more. January will answer anything if it gains him more time in the spot light. 😉 I didn’t ask any of these questions or any of the previous ones. xD And without further ado, round 3, ladies and gentlemen!


1) What would you write if you had a blog?

My life story.

2) How old are you? If you don’t know, make an educated guess.

I’m twenty-one years old.

3) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

I do like Stone Cross Manor, so I think I’d continue living there.

4) What’s your favorite/most memorable dream that you’ve had?

The one where I bit into a piece of blueberry pie, but it tasted like apple crisp.

5) When you listen to music, is it the words or the music itself that makes you feel? Trying to explain, is it the words and the way they’re sung that make the song touch you and paint the picture? Or is it the composer’s music that makes it alive?

Hm, interesting question. It’s definitely a combination of both. Lyrics are a big thing for me. I don’t like to waste time with senseless words, but I also don’t like to listen to crummy music even if I like the lyrics. Know what I mean, jellybean?

6) What’s your favorite fashion accessory?

My top hat. ^_^

7) What are your pet peeves?

When people squeeze the toothpaste from the wrong end, don’t twist the cap on, leave toothpaste all over the cap. Another one is when people treat other people like animals. Seriously, guys. Get with it and treat each other like decent human beings!

8) Have you ever fallen down the stairs?

Yes. Many times. Thanks for bringing up painful and awkward memories.

9) What is your strongest character trait?

My infinite humility.

10) What is your weakness?

My lack of self-confidence.

Skip to 32 seconds.

11) If you could go back in time and change one thing, only one, what would it be?

Alias’s placement in time. I think she belongs in mine.

12) Describe your dream home. What would it look like and who would be in it?

It would be a lavish manor with several rooms, exquisite furniture, and a Victorian-like setting. Alias, obviously, would be there, and so would my sister. Also, a couple of puppies. Preferably huskies or Labradors.

13) Pirates is the best choice — favorite character in Pirates? (This is probably kind of obvious. XD)

You have good taste in movies, beautiful! *winks* It’s a flip between Captain Jack and Will Turner. Captain Jack is humorous and Will is a gentleman. We need more people like me.

14) Angelica or Elizabeth?

I didn’t like either of them very much, but if I had to choose: Elizabeth. Angelica was… I don’t know. I didn’t like her.

15) What’s your favorite treat?

The one that comes out of a bag with a dog printed on the front. *grin* Nah, I don’t know. I’ve got a sweet tooth. And Alias makes good chocolate chip cookies, so…

16) If there was one secret you could tell Alias, what would it be?

I really don’t like myself all that much. *stares shamefacedly at the ground*

17) Have you ever had a disease?

Yeah. It’s called “sarcasm.”

18) Do you love Rana? (You better).

Well, if I better, then why is there a question mark?

19) If you could speak out against anything, what would it be?

People treating other people like filth.

20) Favorite gemstone?

Well, I like garnets (surprise!), amethysts, sapphires, turquoise, and aquamarines.

21) Favorite country that you love to study/visit?

Hm… which one has the best food?

22) Favorite time period????

Whichever one Alias is in.

23) Do you like owls?

Is this a trick question? Hoping and praying it’s not… yeah. They’re funny-looking things. They always have their eyes open like they drank five cans of Redbull before bed and now they can’t sleep.

24) Favorite song? Or just a random song you like?

I really have to answer this one, don’t I? *sigh* Well… I do like Angelus Everlasting by The Crüxshadows. I think Rana’s influencing me. *is scared* And another one would be 20 Years by the Civil Wars.


OH, MY GOODNESS, YES, I CAN! AND YOU ARE PRECIOUS TOO! *spins you around in a big bear hug*

26) What was your first impression of Alias?
            It was a good once since she just offered to get me food.  I didn’t even have to ask.

27) When you meet people, what’s usually the first thing you look for/notice about them?

Their teeth. …Just kidding. Nah, I tend to try and look at people with more than my eyes. Appearance isn’t everything you know.

28) Favorite doughnut?

Chocolate crème filled! You know the one! Sugar powdered on the outside with chocolate frosting in the middle! *licks lips*

29) Favorite quintessential American food?

Are you trying to make me hungry? Well, to answer the question: CHEESEBURGER PIZZA. Yes, it is a legitimate thing. And one of the best legitimate things I’ve ever digested.

30) If there was a character from ANY book/movie/whatever you would like to meet/befriend, who would it be and why? (Please explain a bit about said book/movie to add to our knowledge, dearie. ;D)

Ohhhh, this is a toughie!!! *rubs forehead* I think Angel from Mirriam Neal’s “This Mortal Coil.” He seems like a cool guy. Though I think he would possibly maybe hate me. I might look cuter than him to the ladies. Him, or Rusty or Azrael.

For those of you who haven’t read TMC or Paper Hearts, go do it now. Just do yourself a favor and do it.

God bless!


Interview With January | Round 2

Ladies and gents, January is thoroughly enjoying all the attention! Please welcome him again for Round #2! *applause sounds as he walks up on stage*


1) What is your preferred hair color (on yourself)?

Hot pink. Totally. [/sarcasm]

2) How do you feel about the internet?

I don’t use it. But I think if I did, I would never leave the house. It’s got everything.

3) Do you like to read?

It depends. Alias is very mean when I try to read. She laughs. A lot. I think if I could read by myself, I’d like it better. As of right now, though, I hate it.



Alias: It’s a risk I’m willing to take.

“A- and… t-hey- they, ugh- called- them- themse- themselves! Got it! And they called themselves…” January squints at the word before shouting, “manure!”

I burst out laughing and have to stand up to keep from choking and walk around for half a minute before I can calm down enough to talk. January looks up at me, indignity written on his face.

“I’m still learning!” he says defensively.

I come around the back of the couch and pat his shoulder. “I know, dear, I know!” I reply as I wipe the tears from my eyes. He shrugs my hand off.

“We’ve been at this for over an hour,” he mutters, slamming the book shut. “I’m done.”

4) Who is your favorite person (fictional or real)?

Me. It’s an acceptable answer, right?

5) How do you feel about Rana?

That’s a weird question. I won’t answer it because I’m afraid of what she might do to me. My life hangs in the balance. So I’ll not tip the scale.

6) What’s your favorite fruit?

Pears. I like pears. And strawberries. And red apples.

7) Dogs or cats?

Well, I do prefer dogs, but I can see Alias being a cat lady.

8) Favorite car model?

I’d like a black Ferrari.

Alias: You don’t even know what a Ferrari is! *eyeroll*

They don’t need to know that!!!!!!

9) Do you have a girlfriend?

Are you available?

Alias: January, dear… *smiles sweetly*

Fine, fine. Alias. *sticks tongue out at her*

10)  What’s your preferred genre of music?

I like folk music. Also, rock.

11)  And the most important of all…
do you love me?

I should say yes, shouldn’t I?

12)  Do you like cats?

I do. But I’m more of a puppy-person.

13)  Do you want my evil cat that’s missing a few teeth?

No. Alias would though. She likes cats.

14)  Favorite outfit?

My own.

15)  Movies: action, drama, comedy, historical, educational, etc? Pick.

ALL THE CHOICES!!! Why do you do this to me? *rubs face* I like action, comedy, and yes. I’m a sucker for well-done romance.

16)  What do you want next Christmas?

Two front teeth. *rolls eyes* Maybe this explains my Christmas lists.

“I think the longer you live, the shorter your Christmas list gets because you begin to realize that the things you want, you simply can’t find in a shop.”

17)  Have you ever had a job?

Other than living and breathing and putting up with Alias? Yeah.

Alias: YOU put up with ME? Rephrase that right now, young man!

*sigh* *repeats it in a British accent*

Alias: I said rephrase not repeat!

*groans* Other than living and breathing? Yes. *forces a painful smile*

18)  Were you to go to college, what would you study?

Your brain.

19)  Do you like all the attention you’re receiving?

Of course. *big smiles*

20)  Favorite thing to do with Alias?

Make trouble.

21)  If there was one piece of advice you could give, what would it be?

Treat everyone with respect and don’t ever assume you know what they’re going through. You don’t.

22)  When is your brain most alive?

When it’s focused on me.

23)  What’s your favorite movie?

I don’t have any favorites. I’m not an actor.

24)  No one likes cleaning, but if you had to do it, what’s your favorite chore? What’s the one you would NOT want to do?

I like to pick out my clothes and get dressed. Yes, it’s a chore. The one I don’t like to do is put my clothes away or clean my room.

25)  How many places have you lived?

One: Earth. But on earth, I’ve lost count.

26)  What’s your favorite word?


27)  If you had one day of your life left and you knew it, what would you choose to do?

I’d spend it with Alias and make sure she was okay.

28)  What makes you laugh (besides yourself)?

…There are other humorous things in the world?

29)  What’s your greatest fear?

I’ll be honest with you here. My biggest fear is losing Alias. If I lost her, I’d have no one to make me my meals and clean up after me and all that sort of thing.

30) What makes you happy?

Me. And food.

If you have any questions you’d like him to answer, just comment! 😀

God bless!


The End

The end.

It’s just two words.

But it’s so hard to know when to end the story sometimes. The people you write about are so real. You never want to subject them to a “the end.” But every story must stop. At least on the printed page.

I think the end comes when you’ve got nothing left to say. When the story goal is achieved, when the message has been told, when to continue would mean to drag it out and stretch it like a rubber band ’till it snaps, that’s when the end should come.

Two words. And they’re so painful.

But if the book is done well, while the end may seem painful, it will feel complete.

And that’s how it is with the Reset.

32 days.

41 chapters. 1 epilogue.

48,154 words.

And a bunch of feels.

I don’t know what it is about my guy characters, but people seem to love them. January, Cael, Kody, Elyya… I love my boys so much. ❤

So, while the Reset is waiting to be edited, I will probably rewrite the Desensitized trilogy and it will be better. Thanks to all the help I get from my betas and Mirriam, I think this second go around will be better. The Reset flowed. Desensitized did not. But it will this time.

And before I go, I’ll leave you with a few snippets. ^_^

“What?” I squeak. “What do you want?”

“I want compensation for the blood I lost because of you,” the tattooed man says simply. He rotates his neck on his shoulders and I hear a series of pops.

I stare at the floor and bite my lip. If he takes the blood he lost, I’ll need to perform another job before the end of the month. Three dead in thirty days because of me. I lean my head back against the wall.

“How much?” I whisper.

“Half a month’s supply.”

I look up at the man sharply. “You didn’t lose that much.”

“I’m accounting for the interest as well.”

One of my hands makeup. A thousand thoughts run through my head, none of them pleasant.

I hate to be in debt, but blood and lives should not be a means of paying a price.

rubs my face and I’m sure it smears the carefully placed

“I want it by the end of the month,” the man says.

“What’s your name?” I want to know.

“Bane,” he answers. “Bane Cormac.”


“Look,” he says, “I don’t hate you. You’re messed up, and you need help. You said you wanted a friend, and it looks like I’m the only available one at the moment, so I’m sticking around for a bit.”

I stop and turn around to stare at Jan.

“Besides,” he continues, “all my nice clothes are here. You’re not going to wear the suits and top hats, so I might as well make use of ‘em.”


“If I chose anything more than bread and cheese,” January says, “I’d have to cook. And that ain’t happening. Hope you don’t mind.”


“Do you really mean everything you say about yourself?” I ask. “Or do you say it to cover up a lack of self-confidence?”

Jan’s smile vanishes and his gaze drops to the floor.

“Ah, they say fake it till you make it. I’ve been faking it since I was a kid and I say things like that, but I don’t believe it. Sometimes I’m able to lie to myself, but at the end of the day, I’m still the same broken kid.”

I pull January into a hug again.

“I changed my name a few times,” he tells me.

“Really?” I figure it’s best to let him talk. “What to?”

“Jamie, Jake, Jack, Jayce, Jackson, Jaden, Jacob.”


“I can’t save you. Only you can save yourself. I can be here for you, but you have to make the decision. You have to want to be saved and until then, no one can do much to help you.”

I nod and, as I think about it, it makes so much sense.

“So basically, we limit the help we receive.”

January pats my cheek twice. “That about sums it up, darling. Now I want to practice my reading. You want to choose the book?”


Everyone within earshot turns to look at us.

“What’s wrong?” I ask him.

“Smoke!” he wheezes. “It’s killing me! And you!” He points a finger in the smoker’s direction.Top of Form

I cover my mouth to hide a smile as Jan narrows his eyes at the man whose face is a deep cherry red. The man drops the cigarette butt on the ground and crushes it with his heel. January straightens and nods once. He tugs on his coat and grabs my arm. We hurry down the street with our ice cream.

I giggle and look up at the young man who winks at me.

“Saving lives one hack at a time,” he says.

“I doubt if he’ll stop on your account,” I tell him. “Sorry to burst your bubble.”

“Well, I opened his eyes to the danger, so there.” He sticks his tongue out at me. I smile and lick my ice cream as it begins to drip over the side of the cone.


January had fallen over and was just lying on the ground like the world had ended.

I nudge him with my foot.

“Get up.”

“No,” he replies.

I have the sudden urge to kick him. “Get up,” I repeat.


“Why not? Your clothes are getting ruined. Now stand up before someone tramples you.”

“Who’s going to trample me?” he moans as he stretches his hands into the air before letting drop to the pavement. “We’re in an ally way.”

I look around. “Oh. So we are. But that’s worse, see? Now your clothes are completely ruined. Look at all the rubbish strewn on the ground.”

January raises an eyebrow only a little so it’s barely noticeable. But then his face falls and he just stares up at the grey sky and sighs.

“Just let me die here,” he whispers. I crouch down beside him.

“What are you talking about?” I poke his side. He curls up in a large ball, hugging his side.

“Don’t touch me,” he cries. “Just leave me alone.”

“Why? What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Shall I chase those hooligans and make them apologize?”

“No,” he breathes, his eyes closed tight. “Just- Alias-” January looks up at me and I see something close to pain in his eyes. “My ice cream – it’s dead. So leave me to die with it. Please. Bury me by my park bench, if they’ll let you.”

I slap his face and laugh. “January- January Whatever-Your-Last-Name-Is, get up and come on. I can’t believe you! You’re such a drama queen.”

He hops to his feet, grabs my shoulders, and shoves me back against the wall of a building.

“Never – never – assume you know the pain of a man who has lost his ice cream,” he hisses. “And don’t call me a drama queen. If anything, I’d be a drama king.”

God bless!



I got my upper braces off today!!! 😀

Chatterbox: Food

I was having an e-mail conversation with the lovely Mirriam Neal yesterday and I let her know that I had almost accidentally typed “food” instead of “good” to which she responded “‘good’ and ‘food’ can be easily interchanged.” I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. 🙂

If you don’t know what Chatterbox is, check out the Inkpen Authoress blog. 😉

And now here is a snippet from Chapter 13 The Reset. This takes place just after Alias meets the lovely January.

“What time do you need to get back home?”

“I don’t,” I answer. “You got any place to be?”

He shakes his head. “I got no place to go, except the places I want to be.”

“Sounds nice.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Jan stares off into the middle distance, his voice thoughtful.

“You hungry?” I ask him. “Can I take you out for supper?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Did you just ask me out on a date?”

I shake my head. “No. I asked you if you wanted some free food.”

He spreads his hands out. “Hey, I’ve never not accepted a free meal. But what’s the catch?”

“No catch. Just food.”

“Unless, of course, we eat fish. In which case, there must be a catch for there to be food.”

I laugh as I stand and stretch my legs. “True. Now where would you like to go?”

God bless!


Updates, Snippets, and the Cast of The Reset

Helloooooo, all!

I’m babysitting my four year old cousin and not feeling well. Also, I’m tired.

What better time to write a blog post, right?

Update #1: THE HOBBIT IS SO AMAZING I CAN’T EVEN! NO SPOILERS, JUST ASDFGHJKL!!!!!!!!! It didn’t follow the book and I was a bit worried that Peter Jackson would totally butcher it, BUT I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER. Okay, the first one didn’t set high standards, so I wasn’t expecting much, but THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG. *spazzes*

My 11 year old cousin thought Thranduil was a girl until he spoke. O__________________________o I thought he was an interesting character. I hope to see more of him and the other elves in the third and final installment of The Hobbit. 🙂

My 12 year old sister liked Kili best. Hm, wonder why…

Update #2: There was a Christmas dinner and show at my church Saturday night and it was amazing! They all did such a wonderful job. ^_^ It wasn’t the typical Christmas play either. They went all out, had “commercials” which advertised used carts “cheap as dirt” because they were so dirty and other things. 😛

Update #3: My grandma is an amazing lady. Just throwing that out there. She had me, my sister, and cousin sleep over, then took us to see The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, which preceded a lovely lunch at the Pita Pit.

Update #4: Yesterday, I was babysitting the four year old, as previously mentioned. Two years ago, I changed my first diaper. (It wasn’t mine, I promise. I’ve long since stopped using those things. It was her diaper. Just felt the need to clarify that.) Since then, I have never changed another diaper and have never felt the urge to. I couldn’t get within three feet of the kid without gagging and I’m not exaggerating. We had no wipes, Mom was taking a nap, and I was the only one mature (and brave) enough to handle the situation.

My cousin laughed at me and so did my sister as they ran back and forth from the kitchen with paper towels. Lovely family.

After nearly choking on the putrid scent and getting human child feces on my hands, I was done. No more butt-wiping for me.

And two years later, that same girl is sitting on the couch, watching Dora the Explorer (and I didn’t remember how annoying it was) and coloring, when she looks up and says to me, “Rana, can you get me some different underpants?”

I was sitting there, like, “x_x Why (dare I ask)?”

“I pooped my pants.”

I’m just sitting here going:

She gets in the bathroom and says, “I’m joking.” I stand there, staring at her until she finally gets it. “That’s not funny, right?”

Yeah, I’m a Sherlock fan, in case you haven’t noticed. 😛 I said, “Not dead” in theaters when we were watching DoS. Because I’m that kind of a person. 😛

Update #5: I’m loving The Reset. January… just… I fangirl over him. ^_^ A big thanks to Lisa for fangirling with me. 😛 And to Mirriam for getting excited about his name and face with me. XD

This boy is so lovable. ❤

Here’s what he looks like:

eefb1944ea81a46a988df0a5ac55f3e2 Isn’t he lovely? ^_^

Anyway, I’m having so much fun writing him.

Onto the snippets! 😀 I’m doing a lot ’cause I have 13 chapters already and I love this so much. XD I was trying to choose only my favorite parts, but the whole book is my favorite part, so there’s a bunch of snippets. 😛


“I want to be done,” I whisper, dropping back into my chair as I stare at the picture of a handsome gentleman with blond hair and blue eyes.

“I apologize, Miss Holden, but that is no longer an option for you,” Fanon reminds me. He doesn’t seem sorry at all. He’s just like Fëar. Emotionless. Dehumanized.

“As if it ever was,” I retort.

“It was,” Fanon tells me, glancing up from a file on his desk. “Before you joined us. Now if you don’t mind, I have work to do.”


“You’re gonna regret that in the mornin’,” Silas warns me, interrupting my thoughts and bringing me back to the present.

“Then I’ll just sleep ‘till noon.”


“I don’t look any different than when you saw me yesterday morning.”

“Not to the untrained eye, anyway,” says Fëar. “But I can tell, Alias, m’darlin’. I can always tell. I’ve had since the beginnin’ of time to practice reading people and I’ve grown quite good at it.”

I sigh. “Stop reading me. It’s rude.”

He shrugs. “As you wish.”

“Okay, Westley.”

“Good movie, that. You and your date should watch it sometime.”

“He’s not my date. I don’t date my targets,” I groan as I pour myself a mug of coffee and sit down at the table.


A girl on the stool next to mine elbows me with a sly grin on her face.

“Isn’t he a dream?” she asks, nodding in Silas’s direction.

I smile back at her and nod. “A perfect nightmare.”


“I don’t want to kill anymore.” I grind the words out through my back molars.

Fanon leans in and clasps his hands on the desk as he speaks. “You don’t have a choice.”

“What can I do to get out?”


“No, there is way, isn’t there?”

“Well, I could release you from your bond, but I don’t feel much like doing that. Or you could find someone else to take your place. But then you’d still be bound for a year so there would be double the blood on your hands. And there would be no way to redeem yourself after you died, an occurrence which would take place immediately once the year was up.”


My cell phone buzzes on the table.

I flip it open.


I open it and read the message.

“Hey, srry ill be a few mins l8. –SV”

That makes me want to puke. Really?

You seemed like such a wonderful person until I read that text message, Silas.

“Don’t worry about it,” I type with my thumbs before pressing the send button. A yawn stretches my mouth.

“A yawn is a silent scream for coffee, or so I hear,” the barista calls to me. “Can I get you anything?”

I smile at the young lady. “Sure. What kinds do you have?”

She begins rattling off a long list consisting of espresso, double espresso, cappuccino, Americano, café latte, extra shot, and flavored coffees. I inquire as to what options the latter might include.

“We have hazelnut, caramel, vanilla, cinnamon, gingerbread, honeycomb, and mint,” she replies cheerfully.

I run through the list in my head a couple of times before looking back at the brunette.

“What’s your favorite?” I ask her. I’m horrible at making decisions.

“Well, I’m a vanilla person, so I’d go for that. But the caramel is good too.”

“Can I do both?” I ask.

She laughs. “I can try!”

With that, she sets to making my caranilla coffee and returns with a steaming mug of it. I take a deep breath and let it out in a contented sigh.


“It’s rude to break into people’s houses, Fanon,” I shout.

“I didn’t break in,” he replies, appearing in the middle of the living room.

I roll my eyes. “You’re in here uninvited. It’s the same thing.”

“No, it’s not. Breaking in implies that I forced myself into your house, which I did not.”


“Alias, darling,” he says slowly, “have you read about the old legends?”

Where is he going with this? I wonder.

“Which ones?” I ask instead.

“On the elves,” he replies without looking at me.

“No,” I tell him. “I’ve read quite of a bit of Tolkien though, if that’s what you’re referring to.”

Fanon chuckles. It’s a deep, throaty chuckle that sends shivers up my spine. He pulls a book off the shelf. Its cerulean cover sports golden letters that form to create the title.

The Truth in the Legends

Fanon begins to read a passage located somewhere in the middle of the book.

“In the old legends, Elves were not the honorable creatures Tolkien led people to believe in. They were powerful, dangerous, and beautiful supernatural beings who are more than likely to harm humans than help them.”

Fanon stops and I stare at him, my jaw hanging open. The fact that he read “are more likely” rather than “would be more likely” bothers me. The way the text is written implies that these creatures are real.

The man continues.

“The word ‘elves’ comes from a Germanic term that translates to ‘nightmare.’

“Now, dear Alias, in light of this new discovery, please keep in mind that if you disappoint me, I will hurt you. The Bank isn’t a game. It’s a business. I would appreciate it if you would treat it as such. From now on, stop playing with your targets and just perform the job. It will be easier on you.”


I tear my jacket off and go through my arsenal which is comprised of five blades, not counting the one lying somewhere downstairs in a puddle of blood.

The spear-point will be for Silas and the drop-point for Mirai. I’ll try to do them at the same time to avoid causing one of them the agony of watching their only loved one die.

I’ll spare them the agony I’ve dealt with these past two centuries.


I hold onto Alex tight, knowing he’ll be gone at any moment. “Elizabeth Barton is dead,” I tell him.

“You could have been Mrs. Elizabeth Wilkins.”

“No, I couldn’t have been,” I sigh. “I would never have left you to this life. I would rather die every day and live in hell so you could be saved.”


Fëar crosses his legs and hovers in the air, his elbows on his knees, his chin in his hand.

“Well, we hate humans, basically. So anyway we can hurt them, we will. Immortality is one of those ways. Killing the conscience is another. Though that doesn’t matter much until the soul leaves the body.”

I look up at the navy blue drapes that ensure no sunlight gets in the house. The thick material does its job well.

“So you live to see us hurt?” I ask, yawning. “That seems like a really shallow motive.”

“Oh, there’s more,” Fëar says, flashing me a wicked grin. “You humans don’t know it, but we control the earth.”

I blink. “What?”

“Oh, yeah. President of the United States? He’s the same as you. Of course, we do make exceptions for leaders. They have to die so no one will start to wonder.

“The assassins are all one of us. Most of them fake their deaths, some of them we kill if we think they’ll start telling the world about the Bank.”

“What other leaders do you own?” I ask.

“Well, the politicians are easy to win over. We’ve got some kings and queens.”

“Don’t they have to kill?”

“Yeah. But they do it differently.”

“How so?” I lean forward, curious.

He grins, revealing a set of perfect, white teeth. I notice his bicuspids are sharp. Sharper than any normal person’s. Almost vampirish.

“Do you drink blood?” I ask suddenly, forgetting my previous question.

He sits back, the grin fading. “Absolutely not,” he answers. “No.”


“Are you in trouble?”

I nod. “Been in it for two hundred years and I guess it’s not stopping today.”

“Wait, what? Have you been at the bottle?” Silas raises an eyebrow.

I laugh bitterly. “I wish that was as far as my troubles went, but no. You have to understand that I don’t like this.”

“You don’t like what? Just get to the point!” Silas watches me so closely as if he’s trying to pinpoint the problem somewhere on my face.

“Oh, how much longer must I sing this song?” I mutter under my breath. “It’s an old tune and was never catchy in the first place.”


“Hey, God,” I mutter. “Um, You know what I’ve done. You know I don’t want to do it but have no other choice. This is kind of like a slave contract sort of thing, I guess. I don’t know what to do. I’m lost, okay?

“Like that goat or whatever You talked about finding even when You had the ninety nine all safe and stuff. I’d like to be found again so if You could pick up that lost people detector or whatever You use to find us, I’d appreciate it.

“I’m willing to give this whole faith thing another go if You’ll just get me out of the Bank.”


“Why do you hate me?”

“I don’t hate you,” Fëar says. “My feelings toward you are worse than that.”

I had been heading toward the couch, but stop and cast a confused look over my shoulder. “What’s worse than hate?”


“What do you mean?” I curl up on the couch and watch his face.

“Hate simply means I wish ill for you, but use is much worse than that. It’s wanting to hurt you for my personal gain. You might enjoy it for a while, but I’ll only put up with you until your entertainment purposes surpass your usefulness.”

“Sometimes, I think you’re my friend,” I whisper. “But then I have to remind myself that I have no friends and even if I did, you couldn’t be one of them.”

Fëar chuckles. “Smart girl. Yes, you are smart, m’darlin’ but you’re stupid at the same time.”

I sigh. “Oh, go away.”

His chuckle echoes throughout Stone Cross Manor even after he disappears.



In the park, a man with vertically striped pants (almost like the kind Fanon wears, but in thinner stripes), a coat, some arm bangles, and a black cowboy hat covering half of his face. He appears to be sleeping so I brush past, but his hand reaches out and grabs my wrist.

“Ay,” he says, glancing up at me from his one visible eye. He doesn’t uncross his legs which stretch out on the park bench.

“Let my wrist go, please,” I say, in too much of a nice mood to get angry.

“No, not yet,” he says with a distinct American accent, and sits up. He fixes his cowboy hat and straightens his belt which is old and worn by the looks of it.

“Can I help you?” I ask. I stand far enough away to be able to move if he stands to get closer.

“You might.”

A blue printed scarf peeks out from beneath his dirty white shirt which is covered by a denim jacket. To top it all off, he wears a threadbare wool coat. It all adds up to make an interesting statement to say the least.

His face is one of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. It’s dirty, but he has angular features, a straight nose, full pink lips, and it’s all framed by long strands of black hair that escaped his loose ponytail.

“What might I be able to help you with?” I ask when he doesn’t continue.

“Don’t know yet,” he says, eyeing me.

“I beg your pardon. I don’t understand.”

He flashes me a white, but slightly crooked smile that I find just darling. A few seconds later, I find myself smiling back at him.

“Would you care to sit with me for a while?” he asks me.

I know I shouldn’t, but I’ve got nothing to lose, so I sit beside the young American man and he releases my wrist.

“I thought you were sleeping,” I tell him.

He laughs. It’s a pleasant sound. I haven’t heard a genuine laugh from an adult in such a long time. If Silas ever laughed, it was because of some hidden nervousness or insecurity. Not like this man’s. It’s clear, loud, and real.

“Most people do,” he tells me with a wink.

I smile and nod, unsure of what else to do.

“Do you need money?” I ask.

He lets another laugh ring in the foggy air. “Oh, please,” he chuckles. When he doesn’t explain the humor in my question, I prompt him for an answer. He looks me in the eye, still grinning. “I don’t need money!”

I blink. “Forgive me for being so frank, but how do you not need money? You’ll freeze before the winter sets in if that’s the only outfit you’ve got.” I gesture toward his thin jacket.

The strange man continues grinning as he leans backward. His right arm rests on the back of the bench. He rolls his first two fingers in a circular motion to prompt me to go on.

“And it baffles me that you would sleep out here on a park bench in the cold if you have a flat or somewhere to live.”

Another chuckle escapes his lips. For some reason, it goads me on.

“No offense, but you’re quite filthy too,” I point out. “If you had enough money to live like a decent person, you would be much cleaner.”

He just keeps smiling. But the light in his brilliant blue eyes tells me he’s laughing at me.

“Plus, you-” I stop and shake my head as he begins to laugh again. “What’s so amusing?” I want to know.

“You put so much faith in something so unimportant,” he explains.

“I don’t understand. Yes, money isn’t the most important object, but without it, life is a lot more difficult.”

The man leans closer to me and whispers, “That’s what they want you to believe.”

I lean backwards and place a hand on his chest to keep him out of my personal space.

“What’s your name?” I ask. He leans back.

“Jan,” he answers. “It’s short for January.”

I wrinkle my nose. “January? Is that your real name?”

He shrugs. “I was born in January. That’s all I know about myself.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was put in the orphanage right after I was born, so I don’t know anything else. They never named me so I named myself.”

“Who never named you?”

Jan sighs and taps the side of my head. “Not very bright, are ya? No one named me! Not my parents, and no one in the orphanage.”

“Oh,” I say lamely.

“What’s your name, beautiful?” Jan smiles at me. He holds my gaze and doesn’t look away, even when he’s speaking. It’s a bit unnerving.

“Alias,” I answer.

“Is that your real name?” he asks, mimicking the tone in my voice when I had asked him that question.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I respond, with a grin.

“Yes,” he says. “Yes, I would very much like to know.”

“Why?” I stop fingering the folds in my scarf. I hadn’t realized I was doing it until now.

“Because I’m a creeper.” Jan rolls his eyes. “I’m just curious, is all! No need to get so defensive.”

I smile at him and pat his cheek. “Cute.”

“Who is?”

“You are.”


I laugh. “No one acts the way you do. It’s cute.”

He shakes his head. “I’m not cute.”

“Then what are you?”

“I’m a loner who happens to be very attractive.”

I smile at Jan and he smiles back. “I’m willing to bet self-confidence is your best quality,” I say.

January shakes his head. “Nope. Humility is my best quality. Couldn’t you tell?”


“I think the longer you live, the shorter your Christmas list gets because you begin to realize that the things you want, you simply can’t find in a shop.” He shrugs and puffs out his cheeks.


“You hungry?” I ask him. “Can I take you out for supper?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Did you just ask me out on a date?”

I shake my head. “No. I asked you if you wanted some free food.”

He spreads his hands out. “Hey, I’ve never not accepted a free meal. But what’s the catch?”

“No catch. Just food.”

“Unless, of course, we eat fish. In which case, there must be a catch for there to be food.”


I smile at him. “All right, what do you feel like eating.”

“People,” he mutters. A large man shuffles past the back of his chair and knocks the back of his head with his elbow.

I lean forward. “I’m not sure what you’re used to eating, Jan, but human beings are not on the menu.”

He laughs. “No! I was just-” He gestures to the man. “I was commenting on people’s manners, is all. Or rather, just people in general.”


I smile. “What? You don’t have friends?”

“Nope. It’s just I, myself, and me against the whole world.”

“Same here.”

“Then maybe it’ll just be us against the whole world.”

I look up at Jan. “You’re sweet, you know that?”

He grins and sticks his tongue in his cheek. “Yeah, I think so.”


“What do you want?” I moan.

“Some fun,” he hisses.

“Find it somewhere else. I’m not a Happy Meal.”

A low chuckle sounds in the back of the elf’s throat.

“I don’t need you to be happy,” Fëar clarifies. “I just need the meal. I’ll find the pleasure in it somewhere.”

“I’m not on any menu,” I snap. “Go away.”

He steps toward me and crouches before the bed. His hand stretches out and tucks a loose strand of my dark hair behind my ear. I stare into his pale blue eyes, rimmed with red.

“You still haven’t gotten me the blood I wanted,” he whispers.

“I just killed two innocent people,” I tell Fëar, wanting so much to be able to cry. “I can’t.”

The elf’s hand is on my throat in less than a second. His strangely beautiful face is just centimeters away from my own.

“We made a deal,” he growls. “You’re not backing out, love. I want blood in return for the blood I transferred to your account last time you decided you didn’t want to kill. And, beautiful, if you don’t, just know that I can make your life more miserable than you ever thought imaginable.”



Okay, I don’t know why it turned out so small, but this is my lovely cast. ^_^

Starting at the top left corner and going clockwise, we have Fëar, Fëar again, Stonecross Manor, Alias, Alias again, Silas Vealy, Fanon, Fanon again, some weird blood-smoke thing, the Stalker who I have yet to name, January, and January again.

I hope you enjoyed that horribly long post. Every time, I plan on writing something short and sweet, but then I get going and, well, this is the result. 😛

Now I have a question for y’all.

God bless!


The Reset

Let me start off by saying, “wow.”

Like, fo’ real. My last post got shared 141 times on Pinterest. O_O

I’m shocked. And I’m happy. ^_^ Thank you so much, guys! I love you! xD

I asked my mum last night if I could respond to comments, and she said no. *sigh* But I promise you guys that when I can, I will. And I will enjoy it. It bothers me that I can’t get to know you. *sniffle* But please don’t let our lack of communication stop you from commenting. I really do read all your comments and I enjoy seeing what you have to say. *hugs*
And now, I’d like to present to you my newest plot bunny! *drumroll* The Reset!

I’m horrible with blurbs, and I know that’s horrible because I’m a writer and writers are supposed to be good with words. But I’m still learning and condensing a whole novel into only a couple hundred words is painful. There’s so much more to it than just what’s in the summary. :/

But anywho, I’ll try to write a blurb. 😛

Alias Holden lives in Stone Cross Manor located in Ulverson, Cumbria, UK. To save her fiance from a life of sin and agony, she takes his place in the Bank which is run by elves, who, contrary to popular belief, are not the noble creatures Tolkien portrayed them to be. According to ancient legend, they are powerful and supernatural beings who are more likely to harm humans than aid them. The word “Elves” comes from an old Germanic term for “nightmare.”

Alias has not been human for two hundred years, kept alive by the strange powers of the elves. She is made to kill periodically in order to continue living without the physical pain she normally would feel at two hundred and twenty four years old. The blood from her target would be transported to her account, but she wants out.

Unfortunately, the Bank won’t release her. They tell her they own her soul, but she doesn’t believe it. Alias has tried simply disobeying orders, but Fanon (the head of the Bank in the UK) sent shadows, voices, and physical pain to torture her until she completed the job. Alias is determined to get out, but has no idea how…

Okay, so there’s more than that, but like I said, I’m horrible condensing something huge into only a couple hundred words. 😛

And now for a snippet! Okay, it’s actually chapter 1, so a bit more than a snippet. 😀

The mirror shows no reflection as I stare – no – glare at the glass. There hasn’t been a reflection for two hundred years yet every day, I go back in the hope of seeing something. Anything. But every day, I wake up only to greet disappointment at the door.

It’s been my only company for these past two centuries.

They say I need to change, to open up to people, to make friends. But change hurts, and I’d have to cut myself open to make friends. Friends who die as soon as I begin to care.

It’s a curse.

A bloody curse.

I tear my gaze away from the mirror and storm downstairs to find Fëar sitting in my dining room, a steaming cup of tea in his pale hands. His legs are elevated to show off his muddy boots resting on my beautiful cherry oak table. The familiar black cat rests in his lap.

“What do you want?” I snap, not in the mood for any sort of conversation.

“I came to see if you’ve discovered anything,” he yawns.

“I haven’t. Now go away.”

“My dear girl, you didn’t even look. I’d bet my cat on it.”

The feline looks up at me with that strange golden eye. The other one is hidden by an eye patch.

“What do you want?” I sigh, pouring myself a cup of coffee.

“I want his blood.”

When I turn around, Fëar is standing right in front of me. His voice sounds like the red liquid he desires oozing out of a wound.

“Then take it,” I snap. “I don’t want it.”

“The last time you said that, Alias, you ended up making a bloody mess. Quite literally.”

“I don’t want to do it anymore. I told you that already.”

“You have no choice,” he hisses as one of his slender hands wraps around my arm. I cry out in pain as his fingers constrict the blood flow. “If you wanted to save him, you have to make some sacrifices.”

“Haven’t I made enough?” I scream more out of frustration than pain. “I haven’t seen my reflection for a very long time, Fëar.”

“You’re hollow inside.”

“I haven’t been human for two hundred years,” I snarl.

“I told you the consequences before you agreed to suffer them,” the tall, pale man growls. His fierce, glassy blue eyes are bloodshot and rimmed with red eyelids. “You know how to reverse it. Do it if you want it so much.”

“But who’s to say the next time I put this gun to my head it won’t go off?” I snap. “It’s too risky.”

“Your choice,” Fëar shrugs. He releases my arm and steps back. Something like an invisible sheet wraps around him and a second later, he reappears in the chair at the table, his feet propped up on the wood once again.

The one-eyed black cat rubs against my leg. I watch it with distaste.

“You told me once,” I tell Fëar, “the less you care, the happier you’ll be.”

“How’s it working out for you?” He sips his tea.

“It’s not.”

“Then you’re doing it wrong.”

“I don’t want to kill my conscience,” I tell him. “I don’t want to lose the one part of me that’s still human.”

“Alias, you’re confused!” Fëar laughs. “You’re living these lives all wrong!”

“No,” I say. “I’m not living lives. I’m taking them. And I’m not interested in it anymore.”

“The only way to get out, is to take many more. The only way to stay in, is to take only a few.”

“And I can’t die.”

“Tough, isn’t it?” Fëar looks sympathetic for a moment, but I know he can’t really be feeling that way. He’s incapable of feeling whatsoever. “You’re still so human. It’s a tough phase. You’ll get over it one day.”

“How do you ‘get over’ having to kill every person you care about just to keep from losing your soul? It sounds like that’s more of a way to lose it.”

“It will make sense in time, my darling.” Fëar takes one last sip of his tea. “Just wait.”

“What? Like two hundred years isn’t enough?” I scream at him. His lack of emotion rubs me the wrong way.

“You’re still young!” he soothes, standing up and coming to me. His arms wrap around my smaller body. I breathe in the distinct scent of lavender and lemongrass. Fëar always smells like that. Actually, all the Bankers smell the same. It’s a soothing scent.

“Alias,” I hear Fëar whisper, “you’re doing the right thing.”

A second later, the man, his dark blue scarf, black top coat, and top hat, as well as the black cat are gone. They disappeared, leaving me to my own devices.

I smile.

And that scares me just a little bit.

Hope you enjoyed that! 🙂

God bless!



Tomorrow, we’re celebrating my little sister’s birthday, so I’m making a Reese’s Peanut Butter cake. Be jealous.