We all want to belong and feel at home with another person or group of people.
Sometimes we change ourselves to fit a certain image. For a long time, that was me. I knew that wasn’t who I was. It felt off. I was never comfortable with them or with myself. Occasionally, there were those times where I thought we were friends because we hung out. They invited me to go see The Lion King on stage with them! They must like me enough to willingly spend time with the sheltered ginger chick. But I think they were fooled too. I don’t know that they ever enjoyed my company either but I always tagged along in school so what could they do?
Sometimes we lie to ourselves to get through a situation as comfortably as possible.
Other times, some things feel right – or at least better. So we stick a label to our foreheads and say, “this is who I am” because in this identity, I feel more comfortable. And we do that because we know there are other people out there who feel the same way.
But that’s not who we are. That’s what we’re most comfortable with.
Comfort is a lie.
Most of us live in a society that says, “if you are comfortable doing this, do it” or “if you feel happy doing this, do it”. Ethics, morals, and logic fall by the wayside because they are irrelevant when we focus on feelings and comfort.
We are not here to find comfort and happiness. We are not here to “discover ourselves”.
We are here to make this world a better place by using our individual talents and abilities. “Discovering yourself” sounds like it’s the ultimate goal. It’s not. It’s a step to becoming a better person, but not the end goal. All our lives, I think, we will spend trying to discover our voices and use them to do the right thing.
In order to discover who we are, we need to place our identities in something that doesn’t change. Consistency is key. All the confusion comes when we identify and associate ourselves with something that doesn’t satisfy, doesn’t stay unchanging.
Comfort is dangerous. It prevents us from seeing where we need to grow, where we have become stagnant. We ignore the needs of others because we aren’t suffering. But when we do, we wonder where the help is.
Don’t seek comfort. Seek a better way of life. A better you.
Rana || xoxo