• she’s ugly •

|| “She’s ugly.” ||

|| “Is she pretty or is she just wearing a lot of makeup?” ||

|| “Geez, she’s fat.” ||

I hear these negative remarks frequently. I’ve heard them all my life. I noticed my little sister repeating these harsh statements + that ticked me off because, cynic and critic though I am, I like to consider myself a just + fair one (just ask me, right?).

Maybe cynic and critic aren’t the right terms here. Realistic sounds more accurate in this context, no?

I have a few thoughts and if I don’t put them in a list, I’ll ramble. Typical, right?

  • Criticizing someone for the way they look is so shallow. Have we really nothing better to do than point out the flaws in others? Why do we do it, anyway? Does it make us feel better about ourselves, somehow? How low are we that we need to put others down to feel good about ourselves?
  • Being the most beautiful person in a room isn’t a competition. We shouldn’t feel inferior because a prettier person exists.
  • Beautiful is such a fluid and relative term anyway. By whose standards are we judging others and why do we do it?
  • These statements teach us, and others, to be judgmental and cruel. It’s not just a statement. It’s a worldview. If we look at someone and judge them by their appearance, we miss out. And, believe me, we’re missing more than they are.
  • We’re giving in to the lies of pop culture + that’s what the government wants + we can’t let them win. Now I insert something about aliens and government conspiracy theories here, right?
  • No one is ugly from the outside. It’s a misconception sold to us by the media and we buy it subconsciously. You can’t look at someone and say, “they’re ugly.” You don’t know that.
  • Ugly is a choice. We choose ugly whenever we judge someone by their appearance and that makes us uglier in that moment than they will ever be. Don’t choose ugly. You’re better than that.

Okay, I think I’m done.

I wanted to speak on this only because it’s a mentality that I feel should be recognized; we often judge subconsciously. I do too. I’m not perfect. All too often do I look at someone and go, “I don’t want to be friends with them. Look at their eyebrows. Ugh.” And that’s wrong of me.

Style is a preference. We can judge that. Faces + body types are individual and unique. We should love that.

Over + out.

Rana || xoxo

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• happy tag •

The lovely Maddie over at God’s Little Pencil tagged me in the Tag of Happiness (I now have the Happy song stuck in my head)! With school starting on Monday, six college courses, and the question “what have I done” running through my head, I decided this was the perfect time to not think of a post topic. Thanks a mil. to Maddie for doing that for me! Bless you!

I also think it’s perfect timing so that we can get to know each other now that I can respond to you (the ban has been lifted and took my childhood with it)! So let’s get to it:

Songs That Make Me Happy (okay, so I cheated + listed artists instead; sue me):

  • Basically anything on my Spotify playlist, creatively entitled Amasian Jam.
  • Vixx
  • BTS
  • B.A.P.
  • EXO
  • BIGBANG
  • Ailee
  • Eve Ai
  • One OK Rock
  • The GazettE
  • Alice Nine

Books That Make Me Happy:

  • Pride & Prejudice // Jane Austen
  • Love & Freindship // Jane Austen <– No, that is not my typo.
  • The Silmarillion // J.R.R. Tolkien, a.k.a. The Master
  • The Children of Hurin // J.R.R. Tolkien
  • Anything by Tolkien, really.
  • Anything by Mirriam Neal.
  • An Easy Ways to Become a Saint // Paul O’Sullivan O.P.
  • 33 Days to Morning Glory // Michael E. Gaitley <– which reminds me: I need to do my reading for today…
  • A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court // Mark Twain
  • Huckleberry Finn // Mark Twain
  • Phantom of the Opera // Gaston Leroux
  • The Bible // God
  • Alice in Wonderland + Through the Looking Glass // Lewis Carroll

Films That Make Me Happy:

  • The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
  • The Hobbit Trilogy
  • The Hunger Games Series (it’s sobering + is rather hopeful)
  • Little Boy
  • Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
  • James Bond: Skyfall
  • Labyrinth // starring the late David Bowie, may his soul rest in peace
  • My Neighbor Totoro

Food That Makes Me Happy:

  • All.
  • Just not that weird spiky fruit whose insides taste + look like snot that I tried over a decade ago.
  • Not that.
  • Or eggplant.

Words That Make Me Happy:

  • Cripple
  • Obfuscate
  • Rhubarb
  • Cat/Kitty
  • Avocado

Scents That Make Me Happy:

  • Vanilla
  • Coconut
  • Christmas
  • Ocean
  • Lebanese kitchens
  • Brownies
  • Chocolate chip cookies
  • BLT
  • Cinnamon
  • Winter
  • Roses
  • Taylor Swift’s Wonderstruck perfume
  • Katy Perry’s Killer Queen perfume
  • Tea
  • Old books

Random Things That Make Me Happy:

  • Slicing avocados
  • Praying/Adoration
  • J-Rock + K-Pop
  • Warm + fuzzy socks // but only in winter//and not even all the time
  • Boots
  • Winter/Autumn clothes
  • Free time//at least, I think I’d like it if I knew what it was…
  • Writing
  • Books
  • Sheets fresh out of the dryer
  • Newly made beds
  • Baking
  • Grandma’s house
  • Two or three of my little cousins

Shows That Make Me Happy:

  • Kill Me, Heal Me
  • The Middle
  • LOST
  • M*A*S*H
  • I Love Lucy
  • The Dick Van Dyke Show

• Rules •

||Take the banner and put it in your post.||
||List as many things as you want in each category.||
||Come up with more categories if you wish.||

The Tagged

//Rachael//

//Liz//

//Joi//

//Mirriam//

//Annie//

//Bri//

So what about you? Answer some or all of the questions. I’m interested in getting to know you!

Love,

Rana || xoxo

• no rain, no flowers •

It’s my birthday.

I’ve been breathing for 18 years.

In the eyes of the law, I am now an adult and will be held accountable for my actions; because up until today, all my bad choices could have only been marked down to immaturity. Obviously. So if anyone needs a crime committed before I’m an adult, let me know yesterday.

But law and life are two different things.

• Education •

I’m expected to have a plan for the next 40 – 50 years of my life. And there’s been a lot of pressure because I don’t.

I’m often jealous of my friends. They don’t have the pressure like I do. Their parents don’t pressure them to go to college; they’re chill; they’re open to other options. If the kid wants to take a year off, that’s totally fine. But I’m expected to have it all planned out with a college picked and scholarships lined up while staying on top of school and, oh, I should get a job too.• no rain, no flowers •

It’s stressful + it’s painful mostly because I’ve always been expected and told to go to college all my life; make lots of money, support myself… but I don’t think that’s what I’m called to do. Not right now. All these things are fine, but it’s so shallow and not satisfying to me. I don’t mean I don’t want to go to college, so I say “I’m not called to do it” as an easy way out. I like school; I want to go to college. But I just don’t think it’s what I’m supposed to do.

• Friendship •

I’ve been learning lately that I’m looking for love in the wrong places. I want the things I don’t/can’t have. I want a friendship like that. I want to be so individualized like that. I want to stand out like that. But if I am like that, then I am not who I was created to be which is not that. It’s this. Maybe I’m not supposed to have those things at all or maybe I’m not supposed to have them until I’ve learned that I can’t be truly happy as I am if I’m only half myself without that.

I wasn’t created for partiality. I was created to be whole + when you’re supposed to be full, it’s lonely to be only halfway there.

• no rain, no flowers •

All this context to say that I believe that my life will ultimately be a garden. Trial results in rewards if we handle it the right way. I have faith and I have hope that this struggle now will be useful to me later. I give it to God, the One who loves me more than I can love back, the One who doesn’t pressure, doesn’t confuse, doesn’t go on vacation, doesn’t get too busy, doesn’t leave empty.

As an 18-year-old, I strive to grow in that love, not love to be loved, not even hope for love/friendship. I strive to let go of the things that don’t matter to me + to be okay with disappointing others if it’s what I’m supposed to do. I strive to learn, grow, and make my soul a garden.

I wasn’t created to follow the path laid out for me by those who do not know God’s plan; neither were you. Let’s be okay with that. Let’s be okay with letting others down because, ultimately, we weren’t created to please them, were we?

I strive to love God more than anything else; I pray for the strength + grace to allow no human ties to separate me from Him. I pray for the grace to rid my heart of fear.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

– 1 John 4:18 –

Peace + blessings,

Rana || xoxo

P.S.

I can now reply to comments! Comment away, friends! I look forward to meeting you all. ^_^