I Dig It


Autumn is upon us.

How do I know this? Well…

a) Kitty is fluffy again.

b) I am wearing plaid.

c) Pumpkin lattes are back.

d) I broke out my purple eye shadow pallet once again.

e) Chipped red nail polish adorns my fingernails.

I dig it.

Autumn + winter are my favorite seasons! Autumn because, well, that means winter is almost here and if you live anywhere other than Florida, you get orange, red, and golden leaves. You get crisp weather and wear adorable jackets.

I can pretend.

I love winter because it’s a magical time of year when the bugs die, over-sized sweaters are acceptable, and I get to wear my boots!

******************

Today, I’d like to talk about what I love.

A few weeks ago, Mirriam and I Skyped and gabbed about crazy experiences, being understood, and how to become yourself (here’s a summary of one of the things we talked about).

Over the last few years, I’ve become quite the cynic. I criticize like it’s my job to tear apart the things I don’t love; I wonder if it’s because I like ticking people off or if it’s because I enjoy bringing out my debate skills and making others see the logical fallacies, the plot holes, the lack of consistency.

But I really think it’s because I don’t know what I love. A few different factors have played into the “why” of it all, but I’ll save that for another day.

Now, I’d like to make a list of the things I dig, the thing’s I’d like to get into, and who I want to be. Because, really, if you let other peoples’ interests define who you are, you’ll be everyone and no one. Parts of you will be a copy of a copy; and other parts will be empty because you didn’t fill your heart with what made you tick. We were too worried about what everyone else might think.

So… here goes:

  • I like quirk.
    • Quirky clothes
    • Quirky catch-phrases
    • Quirky words
    • Quirky people
    • Quirky shops
    • Quirky music
    • Quirky jewelry
  • I like flavored coffees.
    • Peppermint mochas
    • Pumpkin lattes
    • Mochas
  • I like to draw.
    • I dig hand-lettering nowadays.
    • I dig doodles.
  • I like to write letters.
    • I like to doodle in the margins + on the envelope so every letter is unique and the receiver gets a little piece of me.
    • I like to write letters because it shows the person that I cared enough about them to stop, take the time to write by hand, and think about them for however long it took me to write that letter and doodle on it.
  • I like the college atmosphere.
    • I like the coffee shop.
    • I like that everyone’s got their own style.
    • I like that the students aren’t very judgmental.
    • I like that people are pretty accepting.
  • I like layers.
    • Form-fitting undershirt + breezy top is my go-to style.
  • I like my red hair.
    • I like that there are about five or six different colors in it naturally.
    • I kind-of like that the top half is red and the bottom half is blond (naturally).
  • I like my eyes.
    • I like that I’m rare with blue eyes + red hair (rarest combination, I hear).
    • I like that I have sectoral heterochromia in my right eye.
  • I like being petite.
    • I think I’m adorable.
    • I like that I’m not a twig and I like that I’m not plump.
    • I like that I’m just right.
  • I like that my skin is fair.
    • Red nail polish + white skin = bomb diggity.
  • I like that I can cook.
    • And bake.
  • I like the fact that I can be super loving.
    • I had a bigger heart as a child and I’d like to go back to that but I’m also happy where I’m at now.
    • I pray that I can love the way Christ loves.
  • I like the fact that I enjoy reading quirky books that others usually don’t.
    • Jane Austen (I have actually laughed out loud reading some of her stuff)
    • Mark Twain (A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court was the bomb dot com)
    • Alice in Wonderland (still working on it)
    • A collection of philosophical  works from Bacon to Mill (Mills?)
  • I like my lips (at least one day I will…)
    • Full + naturally dark pink? I think yes.
    • One day I’ll get over the fact that my lower lip sticks out farther than my upper lip.
  • I like J.R.R. Tolkien.
    • LotR was not his best work in my opinion.
    • The Silmarillion + The Children of Hurin were phenomenal.
  • I like Atomic Fire Balls.
    • You know those cinnamon candies?
    • They’re a personal challenge.
    • I’m strong enough to get to the core without water.
  • I like floral outfits.
    • Floral dresses? Yes, please!
  • I like dresses.
    • Feminine five-foot-nothing is adorable, don’t you think?
  • I like that I’m a penny-pincher.
    • Spending money borders on physically painful.
  • I like popcorn + hot chocolate mix.
    • Seriously.
    • Dump that Swiss miss all over the buttered popcorn. You won’t regret it.
  • I like Batman.
    • Always + forever.
  • I like +.
    • Quirk, yo.
  • I like (terrible) puns.
    • I’m sure there’s one I could use here, but I’m a little slow…
  • I like terrible jokes.
    • What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
    • The wheel chair.
  • I like that I’m an optimistic pessimist.
    • I don’t get excited because, if something doesn’t work out, I’m not crushed. If it does, I’m pleasantly surprised.
  • I like that I’m a writer.
    • Kill thy darlings, darling.
  • I like fictional boys.
    • If you’re real, you probably repulse me but I still love you because I love everyone.
  • I like K-Pop.
    • I dig EXO, ShinEE, 2ne1, Super Junior, ZE:A, and all the others I can’t remember.
  • I dig Oxford commas.

The one thing I’d change about myself is my semi-apathy and my fear of judgment.

Because, if someone really loves you, they’ll be interested in you. Not necessarily everything you’re interested in. But you. And that’s what counts.

When I’m away at college a year from now, my parents won’t be there to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do. My friends won’t be there to encourage me to like this or that.

It will be me deciding what I like. And I’d like to know what I’m interested in before I’m thrown into a world where everyone likes the same things.

If you don’t know who you are, people will tell you; you will be everyone and no one and none of them will be who you really, authentically are.

So what do you love about yourself?

Who do you want to become?

Love + peace,

Rana

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