Contradictions

Hello, love!

You know when you say something and someone says, “Hey! Me too!”? And you either get…

a. …really happy because you’ve found something in common with someone you feel is worth trying to make friends with.

b. …really aggravated because you thought you were special.

c. …super annoyed because you want nothing in common with the person you’re speaking with.

Well, I wonder if any of you feel the same way as I do. Hopefully, it’s a mutual a. option if you think, “Hey! Me too!” 😉

So do you ever feel…

  • like dreaming big dreams and not caring what happens while simultaneously feeling like it’s not worth it to pursue a thing?
  • that couples are the cutest and most revolting pairs of anything in the world?
  • like taking an incredible amount of risks to see how far you can get while also wanting to stick to the safe options?
  • like making friends with people while not wanting to put forth the effort to maintain that relationship?
  • like saying exactly what’s on your mind while not daring to because you’d get punched in the face and grounded for life?
  • like telling someone what’s on your mind but also not wanting to say a word about yourself?
  • like being that sweet person everyone wants their children to be like but no one actually really likes while also Caution: Contradictory human ahead.wanting to be that bad girl everyone loves?
  • like going to another country and living like the poor while also never wanting to leave the comfort of your own house?
  • like being the one everyone looks up to while also wanting to be the quiet kid in the back?
  • like saying something really smart while kind of going, “nah. No one wants to hear from me.”?
  • like you’re the lowest of the low while also feeling like you’re better than everyone else?
  • like listening to stupid pop songs while also wanting to listen to deep lyrics from a hard rock band?
  • like giving advice to someone while also feeling kind of awkward and in no position worthy enough to do so?
  • like being that encouraging person while also feeling fake when you do say something nice?
  • like judging and hating everyone but feeling guilty for doing so?
  • like wearing all black or more dresses but not wanting to scare everyone or break out of your norm, so you just wear the usual t-shirt and jeans?
  • like being cute and cuddly while also wanting to metaphorically be a leather jacket with spikes?
  • like wearing classy makeup while also wanting to go goth or something?
  • like falling in love with someone or hating the guts out of the human race?
  • like quitting school while simultaneously not wanting to give up?
  • like not caring what grades you get, but also knowing you’d feel like a failure if you didn’t get straight A’s?
  • like being immature and selfish while wanting to be seen as mature and selfless?
  • like eating all healthy food but all junk food at the same time?
  • like emailing and loving the crap out of someone while also feeling like you’re wasting their time?
  • like you’re the most important person ever but also feeling like you’re worth less than dog poop?
  • like you want to sleep all day but can’t because you have too much to do?

The list goes on. You too? Or am I just an awkward potato?

God bless!
Rana

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Effort + Prayer = Success

Hello, love!

I’m pleased to let you all know that my new year started off just phenomenally. My birthday is January 6 and I love that day, honestly. It looks rather whimsical on paper; plus, I’m able to start off the new year with a new age. Unfortunately, I dislike celebrating my birthday. And just birthdays in general.

Which is part of the reason I decided to spend the 17th anniversary of my existence on this planet in South Carolina at a speech and debate tournament. What a nerd, right? It was a really nice day. People I didn’t expect to know or care, did and showed it. My club surprised me with a cookie cake and sang “Happy Birthday.”

(Kids, I still don’t know what to do while people sing that without being a jerk or looking like an idiot. Sorry to disappoint. If you’ve figured this out, you must understand life. Please share your secrets.)

This year, I decided that I’m going to take more risks, set more goals, and put forth the effort to excel. A few months ago, I was afraid to write a speech and perform it. What if I didn’t break (move on to the next level)? What if it wasn’t funny (like it’s supposed to be)? What if people hated it?

Well, I made it to Regionals with my speech, received many laughs, and was ranked number one in my room a couple of times. In debate, I placed 6th at the tournament (I believe there were 56ish students doing the same style as me). And heck, it took me long enough to get 6th. I’ve been debating for about 5 years now (?). I think the difference is simply that, before, I didn’t put in enough effort. This year, I did. And it feels good.

All of this said, the credit goes to God. I was praying like crazy to move on and I did. Lesson learned: effort and prayer pay off. 😉

(I would share pictures, but the ones I’m in make me look like I’m just a bus ride, two skips, and a hop away from Zombieville. Which I kind of was/am. And you would be too if you had to get up early, go to bed late, give a speech twice, and debate 4 times in one day. 😉 )

Hopefully, the rest of this year will go just as well.

I hope your 2015 has fared as nicely as (if not better than) mine has thus far.

God bless!

Rana