Stop Saying “That’s Just The Way I Am”

Hello, darling!

I’ve heard this so much lately, “That’s just the way I am.” And people pass it off as an excuse to be a jerk. I don’t think that’s acceptable. We choose what we become and to believe that we are not in control of that is utterly false. The reason we do it, though, is because it’s easier to think “we can’t change” as opposed to “we should change.” We like to think it’s not our fault.

You are in control of your thoughts. You are in control of what you do. We hold murderers accountable for what they do. They can’t use the excuse, “I just like to kill people and that’s who I am” as justification for their actions. In the same sense, it’s not a justifiable excuse for our actions either.

So let’s go through a quick list of things we think we are because change requires effort, but actually aren’t.

You’re not a jerk. You just choose to be a jerk because maybe you feel better when you tick everyone off with your opinions (I know I do).

You’re not a rebel. You just choose not to listen to authority because maybe that makes you feel more autonomous or something. Dude, everyone thinks they’re a rebel when they scoop the spinach off their plate when their parents aren’t looking. Not many people rebel against the right things.


You’re not an idiot. Sometimes, you’re goofy. Sometimes, you have a blonde moment. It makes you human which is another thing entirely. Unless you don’t study and slack off. Then you’re just lazy and that’s your decision.

You don’t have trouble keeping friends. You just choose to jump at the slightest thing and push people away because you’ve been hurt before. Accept that people aren’t perfect and be more forgiving.

You’re not a horrible person. You’ve just tricked yourself into thinking you are because of what other people have done or said to you or by dwelling on your mistakes. You’re not perfect. It’s okay. No one likes perfection so don’t beat yourself up because you aren’t.

The list goes on.

Essentially, none of us are allowed to use, “that’s just the way I am” as an excuse to be a jerk. The way you act is the way you choose to act whether it’s conscious or not.

Let’s choose to believe the best about ourselves and others and stop labeling people. They’re people, not containers. Let’s be decent folks in a world sorely lacking in that department, huh?

Love you and God bless!


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